Written by Deborah Kantor
I wasn’t prepared for any of it, but I guess the Universe had other plans. Back in 2011, I was sitting on the train one morning riding to work, it was just a normal day, the sun was coming up and I sat between a stranger and the window staring out, feeling like I could fall back asleep, when I slowly disappeared within myself and accidentally entered a trance-like state.
The next thing I knew I was somewhere else. No longer on the train, no longer by the window, no longer in my body. I was somewhere new. It was cold and windy, the wind was loud and piercing and I was face to face with a giant animal at the top of a treacherous cliff at an unbelievable height.
I was eyeball to eyeball with this creature, it didn’t seem to want to harm me but I had now entered panic mode, alarm bells going off in my head, my heart beat through my eyes. Where was I? How did I get so high? What the hell is this thing and why is it so big!?
I looked all around me, I was somewhere in the mountains, I was very high up and I was cold. Then I looked back at the animal and somehow felt very close to this creature, I stared into its loving gaze, it was at least five times bigger than I was, frightening and beautiful at the same time. I starred into the great big eye of this feathered beast and was swallowed up by them somehow, now looking out at the cliffs from inside the animal. What the hell was going on? I had never heard of this and I wasn’t dreaming, what on earth was happening to me?!
My husband was sitting opposite me on the train, I came to and felt startled, I opened my eyes and motioned to him to lean forward like a crazy person, there were a lot of people on the train, I cupped my hand over his ear, trying to be discreet, ‘Hey Lucas, I was just a big bird’’. Then I sat back in my seat and tried to be patient about filling him in on the rest of the story until we got off the train, “”It’s OK, I’ll tell you later”. I stared back out the window and fell back again into a trance, but this time, somewhere else.
In my mind I could see and hear a small old lady with long white plated hair dressed in white in a place where there was sand stone tiles, she was teaching me how to be peaceful, giving me tools, ideas etc for how to be. She was as real as the animal and she was very funny and still to this day laughs at me sometimes. I realized after the first time I saw her that she was always there and always teaching me. I didn’t tell many people about the lady because after I told someone once, they looked at me all crazy and said, “so you’re telling me you are hearing voices now”.
Well yes I am, but they are teaching me how to be a better person.
I felt protected somehow, as though the woman and the animal were there for me, but I was also scared bc I didn’t know what any of this was.
I went home and typed in ‘’spontaneous spiritual experiences’’ into Google search, and an American shaman living in Hawaii came up called Hank Wesselman, I emailed him and asked him what he could make of it, this is what he emailed back:
Warm greetings from Hawaii Island.
Thanks for sharing your shamanic experiences, for this is what they are, and they are well within the range of experiences encounters by contemporary students of shamanism.
After more than 30 years of practice and 20 years of teaching shamanic training workshops, I have come to understand that many, if not most of us, have a program on our inner hard drive–on our DNA. This is one of our birthrights and when it is activated, it allows us to have experiences of expanded awareness in which we can perceive the hidden worlds as well as their inhabitants.
Shamans in traditional societies do this as part of their service to their communities, helping to maintain the balance between the seen and unseen worlds… and some shamans become great healers.
It seems from your email, that you may have this gift. Accordingly, you will find my books more than interesting. I would suggest the book I co-authored with Sandra Ingerman Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation. Then there is also my Spiritwalker Trilogy for something really off the wall–the story of how I was drawn into the shaman’s world of mystery and magic. My most recent book, The Bowl of Light, records an account of my great friendship and philosophical discussion with one of the last great Hawaiian kahuna mystics over the last eight years of his life.
This should give you something to chew on. Jill and I had an Aussie on our most recent series of advanced trainings so folks do come from your part of the world to experience our work.
Have courage and prevail in your efforts to acquire knowledge and power… for that is what you are being invited to experience. And… there are challenges… hence the courage.
Finally an answer, after his email I read as many books as I could to gain more knowledge, found a shaman near my home that helped me heal myself in the process. I learnt that many people are having shamanic experiences that aren’t necessarily even shamans, something is happening to the world at the moment and stories about spiritual awakenings are being reported all over.
With the shaman I could now understand what I was experiencing, and began to experience more, for longer periods of time with more detail, more beings, more places. I took epic journeys and retrieved parts of my soul and felt them in me with the following days after the event. I began to feel lighter, happier and powerful, my relationships improved and blockages were cleared.
I started to see small lights everywhere I went, and sometimes at night when I slept I sensed an immense warm light behind me. My dreams became more vivid and I started to have more and more experiences with spirits.
Since then I’ve been working with spiritual healers on and off, healing and clearing any past stories that I’ve had trouble letting go of. Each time I walk through the doors of the healer’s room those stories and parts that need to be healed come up naturally, they continually present themselves for the month, week, days even minutes leading up to the time that they are about to be healed.
The shaman I see says the spirits plant seeds and the seeds sprout, I can feel it happening, and each time I’m faced with a charged problem that I have- I know it’s part of this big picture and I trust that my helping spirits are showing me what needs to be done, and knowing this gives me confidence and strength.
Since 2011 I’ve become very self-aware, but I’ve also had a very hard time. This process of healing is painful, it’s hard and it has nearly killed me many times. For more information about what this feels like, read my article on Dark night of the soul.
Healing is heavy, it forces you to face your shit, but then guess what? You can let that shit go once you face it, it needs time to digest, you need to process it. Healing doesn’t mean you are suddenly fixed and that the problem goes away, it means that you are no longer feeling the problem in your body, it is no longer effecting you the way it did.