journey to soul womb

May 15, 2016

Poem written by Deborah Kantor

 

My body is like a thorn bush

Tangled, twisted and unwelcoming,

I touch it and I bleed.

 

My soul parts hide in its branches

Afraid to come out

Afraid to stand out

Afraid to make a peep

 

The eyes of my soul look down within me

Filled with all the oceans of the world, all the lakes, rivers and creeks

 

They pour out with nowhere to go

They sing a song for no one to hear

They hit the walls I’ve built for centuries and reverberate back down inside me

Making the lessons harder, louder and more painful to bear

 

There’s something missing here in my body

Its absence chills my bones

I grieve for a part that is close but not in reach

It flies above my body like a kite behind a cloud

soul returning

I see a side of myself going deep deep down

Finding that lost part in a swamp and carrying it over my head

like a brave warrior queen

 

Pushing past the crocs and the shreiky eels

Flicking the darkness away

Conjuring up a mighty care bear stare through my belly

Piercing bullet holes of light through its web (Rambo-style)

I walk away in slo mo like a bad ass bitch out of hell

as it explodes behind me

 

My soul parts intention is to get my attention;

to nudge me and push me to a place I thought was rock bottom

but really

it led me to a door

a threshold for change

a caterpillar’s sack

there was no going back

 

I sat in my pain,

it turned to quiet self-awareness

and in the background

a transformational awakening was taking place

 

Painful these battle scars are

I saw them as only that

 

The clawing in my tomb

and the acceptance of eternal rest

that was really the test-

it was the only way for me to get through the door

to get to this new place

 chakras2

This place where my heart and soul met

This communion,

this womb

this place i call home

 

The breath of life was always there

but now it breathes through a crystal clear

glass-like immaculate chord

shining the light from my soul out to everything i see

it runs through all of me

connecting me with my past,

with ancient ancestral wisdom

and connecting me to this earth and to my body

placing the lessons i need to learn at my feet

 

it connects me with my future too

w the cosmic promise of being one of many stars,

One of many children

 

I see birds playing there in the thorn bush

They play

Not knowing it was once a hiding place

 

It is still alive there in the quiet

Waiting to be seen again

I hear the sticks in the bushes stir

Like the beat of my own heart

Deb <3

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